Love is a Funny Thing NOT!
by Amplifyingly Loud
Summary: Sounds like a usual fic. It's not, trust me. Kirimi's cousin is visiting. Kirimi drags her to visit Tamaki. And in all the chaos going on, Sashimi, Kirimi's cousin, begins to like our Wild type! The only problem? She's about 6 years old. One sided MoriXOC
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The First Meeting

Pig-chan – We're back! And annoying as ever!

Jac-chan – Our first romance fic!

Pig-chan – Wish us luck!

Disclaimer: Yes we own Mori-sempai. NOT. We don't know anything! Waaaaaaahhh! So depressing…

You know it's really hard getting Mori-sempai to fall in love with you. Regular high school girls have it tough. Now look at my position. No, look down. Ya see me now? That's right. I'm the same age as Kirimi-chan (A/N-how old is she?). Yes I like Mori-sempai. Gotta problem with that? This is how it all started, but I'll get to the good stuff later.

I was walking in the hallways with my friend and cousin Kirimi. She was saying something along the lines of visiting her big brother in his magic club. Pfffft. What a nerd. Oh! Was I supposed to be listening to her? I have the attention span of a rock I tell you. Anyways she suddenly stopped in front of the Third Music Room. Why does the school need three music rooms anyway?

"Let's go visit Big Brother #2!" she suddenly shouted. We opened the door (it took us some time because the doors were so HEAVY) and floor petals attacked us. Ack! I think I choked on one.

"Welcome!" voices said in sync. Maybe they were robots. Instead, what I saw in front of me were 6 high school guys and a girl dressed as a guy.

"Kirimi-chan! Good to see you!" the blonde one cried. "Huh? It seems we have a new guest. A friend of yours Kirimi-chan?"

"Yes Big Brother #2!" Kirimi yelled. I think I lost hearing in both my ears. The blonde one walked up to me and pulled on my cheeks.

"She's so cuuuuute! I'm going to adopt you! What's your name, little one?"

"Owwww…leg go ov my cheeks!" I cried. Or tried to. After he released me I answered his statement.

"My name is Sashimi Nekozawa. And no, you can't adopt me!" That's right, my name is sashimi. Kirimi's means filleted fish or whatever. Kirimi-chan calls me Sa-chan for short. Sometimes, Ume nii-san does too, but it feels kinda creepy.

"Why nooooooot?" The blonde one yelled. "Where are my manners? I am Tamaki Suoh, president of the Host Club." Okay his name means egg something. Tama means egg, right? If you're wondering why I suck at Japanese, I was raised in America for a bit. I'm better suited to English than Japanese. The black haired guy with glasses spoke next.

"We have types here at the club. Tamaki is our 'Prince' character, Mori-sempai is the 'Wild' type. Hunny-sempai is our 'Loli-shota', the twins Hikaru and Kaoru are our 'Devil' types. Haruhi is our 'Natural', and I am the 'Cool' type. Any questions?"

"Yes. Do you ever feel swollen headed when you call yourself the 'Cool' type?" I asked. I could see the twins double over in laughter, Mori-sempai stayed emotionless, Hunny-sempai and Tamaki-sempai were shocked, and Haruhi-sempai was off in Lalaland. There was a swirling black aura behind Kyoya-sempai.

"Waaaaaaahhh! Ume nii-san! Save us!" I cried. Kirimi-chan was scared of the black aura, I could tell by the way she gripped onto my arm.

"Fufufufufu…did someone call for my help?" The black aura stopped and the room dimmed. A guy in a black cloak wandered into the room through a big, black door. "Aaaaahhh…Sa-chan….it's good to see you again." He blinked in surprise. "Kirimi-chan? What are you doing here?"

"Big Brother!" Kirimi-chan ran to her older brother, leaving me on my own. I kinda zoned them out after that, hehehehe ^^'. Then all of a sudden, I was on my own. No Kirimi-chan, no creepy Ume nii-san. Left with 6 guys and a girl who may or may not have bad intentions. Right there and then I bawled my eyes out.

Pig-chan – Tell us what you think! Like it, hate it? Comments, compliments, and complaints are accepted. Ya'll don't have to review if you don't want to, but it is appreciated.

Jac-chan –Shut up already! Let them get on with their lives!

Pig-chan – Harsh.


	2. Chapter 2

Love is a Funny Thing. NOT! Chapter 2: The Host Club

Pig-chan – The title cut off the period! How dare they! Anyways, I want to thank the following people for reviewing/ favoriting this story:

lynx44

TamachanKICK

What You Say Is A Lie Like I

BeLu-Chan

Person () (an anonymous reviewer, I think)

Pig-chan – Because you guys are so awesome! Now for chapter 2…and the disclaimer…btw Sa-chan looks like Kirimi except she has brown eyes. Technically they could pass off as twins if they wore sunglasses.

Disclaimer- oh yeah I totally own the host club *sarcasm*

* * *

Where was I? Oh yeah! I was ditched by my cousins in a room with 6 guys and a cross dresser. I started crying and throwing a tantrum. The blonde idiot ran up to me and tried to comfort me.

"It's alright! Come on, don't cry!" he cooed. That only made me cry harder. I mean, yeah he was pretty, but it just felt wrong. He wasn't my brother (like I have one!) and he was trying to adopt me earlier. Wasn't he the one who started it all? The cross dresser tried next. She/ He gave me…what is this piece of crap? A ring? Blech! Seriously, can't the cross dresser afford anything, oh I don't know, more expensive? I took the ring with a smile on my face and threw it at the blonde one. Ha ha ha ha! It hit him in the eye!

"I guess she doesn't like rings," the cross dresser said. I think I'll call it Tanu-san. Like a raccoon! Yeah! The red headed people tried next. What do you call them? Twins? The twins put on caps, ugly might I add, and said, "Which one of us is Hikaru?" How should I know? I've only been here for five minutes! Sheesh! I pointed to the air in between them.

"You're Hikaru!" I declared. They tilted their heads in sync.

"Which one of us is Hikaru?" the left one asked. By that time I wandered away to the short and tall one.

"Do you want any cake Sa-chan?" the short one asked. He was about my height so it made it easier to talk to him. The tall one, not so much.

"Yeah! Strawberry cheesecake, please!" I grinned. He grinned too, and the tall one just looked on impassively. Actually I was kinda hoping they would carry me to the table. Oh well. I was enjoying my cake, and I could hear the whispers in the background.

"Does she have AB blood type?" the twins whispered. Why do people act like I can't hear them? Duh, I'm random, but not bipolar. Whatever that means.

"I don't know. Is she really related to Nekozawa-sempai? That means she can curse me! I don't wanna be cursed! Mommy do something!" Tamaki spouted. Well, yeah, I'm related to Ume nii-san, but I don't do occult stuff. But I could ASK him to curse the blonde one. Mwuahahahahahahahaha…

"Don't be ridiculous. She's only a little girl, you don't have to be so hard on her," Tanu-san said. I'm beginning to like Tanu-san. He/ She stood up for me. I'm still confused on the gender though.

"Are you sure you love him Haruhi? He's a complete idiot," Hikaru asked. Huh? Do I sense a love triangle? I love *cough messing up cough* love triangles!

"Yeah, sorry Hikaru, but I chose him," Tanu-san said. So that makes Tanu-san a girl right? Unless he's gay…then that makes the blonde one gay? Urghhh…so confusing. Grrrr. Hey look! The twins are in a corner! I picked up my cake and walked over to them.

"Want some cake?" I held up my plate to them. One twin looked concerned, the other looked kinda furious. What did I do?

"Awwww! My other daughter is so nice!" the blonde idiot cried. I wish I brought my whacking stick. That'll teach him!

"Not your daughter!" I yelled.

"No thanks, I'm not in the mood," Twin 1 moaned. Sheesh, he got rejected bad didn't he? The stupid blondie (no offense to the blondes out there) ran over and crushed me. Isn't this child abuse? Suffocating…losing…precious…oxygen…seeing…men…in…tights…ewwwww…fainting spell…imminent…

I…I can BREATHE! Thank you Kami-sama! Thank you tall guy who saved me! Huh? The tall guy saved me? Whoa, my cheeks feel warm. And then I was enveloped into another choke- I mean hug.

* * *

Pig-chan – Like it, hate it? You tell me if it needs to be longer or shorter. Sorry if it seems rushed, I just couldn't wait for this to be updated! I also apologize for any OOCness, but it adds to the story.


	3. Chapter 3

Love is a Funny Thing. NOT! Chapter 3

Pig-chan – It's been forever since I've updated! It just so happens that this is my first update for 2011! Yay! I'd like to say thanks to the following people (and respond to their reviews if they sent any):

Le Dancing Flamingo (love your works btw) – Thanks!

TamachanKICK – yes, yes he does.

Midnighter67

If I missed anyone, I apologize. I tend to do that a lot, and my email account is loaded. To the chapter!

* * *

Huh? This isn't a hug! Why's everything black? No, actually, why is the floor blue? I thought it was pink!

"Don't worry Sa-chan. I've got you," the voice said. I have a voice inside my head! Cool!

"No, I'm not the voice inside your head, Sa-chan. It's me Ume nii-san," Ume nii-san said. Darn! When did Ume nii get here? And isn't this manhandling? Or kid handling?

"I'm sorry I left you with Big Brother #2, Sa-chan!" Kirimi screamed/yelled. Sheesh! Tone down your voice! We're in a castle/school/Barbie doll house/inside! Use inside voices!

"Ume nii, could you put me down? I'm feeling dizzy," I slurred. Ume nii put me down; I wobbled away from his cloaky figure. And it's all a blur now, but I'm pretty sure I wandered into the Third Music Room. Who does that anyways? Oh wait, I did.

"Yay! My daughter's come back! Give your Papa a hug!" the tall blonde yelled. People enjoy yelling. I can tell.

"Noo! Save me from the meanie man!" I cried. See? Crying is different from yelling. The meanie man sat down on the floor. He started drawing circles on the floor, a gloomy aura covering his area. Wow, he's worse than Ume nii-san when Ume nii-san sees sunlight.

"Oh well," I skipped off to the super duper tall man. "Thanks for saving me earlier," I mumbled. Whaat? I'm never shy! Why am I shy?

There's something on my head. I moved my hands to the top where I felt something warm. Warm waves hit my cheeks. Looking up, I see the tall guy placing his hand on my head. He was slightly smiling. Uwaah, he's so niiice~. Uh wha? I did not just think that!

"Haha! Sa-chan's blushing!" the shortie blonde said. No I'm not! I just happen to look pink is all!

"Nuh-uh! I just happen to – "I was cut off. Well that's just nice!

"Oh my daughters are just too cute!" the tall blondie cried. He grabbed Tanu-san and me into his suffocating hugs.

"Tono, you're going to kill Sashimi. Heh, that's kinda funny," Twin 1 (Hikaru) said. Yeah, the Idiot Lord's gonna kill food. Wait, was he talking about me?

"Tamaki-sempai put me down!" Tanu-san ordered. He put us down. No, let me rephrase that. He put her/him down and squished me with his killer arms.

"Tamaki-sempai put her down, too!" Tanu-san scolded. He put me down than started to crawl to a dark corner. I'm guessing he has connections to Ume nii-san.

"Is Tanu-san a girl, or a guy?" I asked. Okay, let's try my patented "Cute, little devil Sa-chan" pose. I put my finger on my lip (which was pouting, by the way), and I was hugging my panda bear. I added a few tears (don't worry, they're not eye drops. Psh, I'm a professional, I don't need eye drops) to make it seem cuter. I'm really glad I decided to put a ribbon in my hair today! No, wait, I do that everyday. Never mind~!

"Uh…" the tall blonde, the twins, and the shortie blonde looked at me.

"Isn't anyone going to – "Geez! I do not like getting cut off, people!

"How cute~!" Ack! They lunged! I could feel myself being rubbed against their faces. What am I, a dog? Okay, maybe this feels a little nice.

"Waaah! Tanu-san, save me!" I yelled. Yeah, I get it. I'm a yeller too. *sigh* fine. Quiet voices, quiet voices. I opened my mouth to speak.

"I – "Again? Really?

"Sa-chan! We're here to rescue you!" Hey, hey! I know that screechy little voice! Kirimi-chan! You didn't forget about me! I'm so touched…*sniff*

"Rescue? Oh, right right! Wait, from what?" I feel very confused.

"No, don't go! You haven't finished your cake yet!" the shortie blonde said. I like cake.

"Okie dokie! Kirimi-chan let me finish my cake before we go home, 'kay?" I went over to the table and began eating my cake. Eh, I've eaten better cakes, but this is pretty good. I really like the strawberry cream cheese filling, though. Yum~! Cake.

As soon as I finished, my feet didn't touch the ground. Under normal circumstances, I would have been kicking and screaming. Today just happens to be "Man handle/ Kid Handle Sashimi Nekozawa Day" so I guess I'm used to it. Not only that, but "Man Handle / Kid Handle Sashimi Nekozawa Day" an every day occurrence. It's hard being me.

"Haha, Takashi can handle us both, ne?" the shortie blonde asked. What does he mean by that?

When I looked down, I realized that Takashi-sempai was running with me and the shortie blonde on his shoulders. Wow. Why are we running again?

"Ne, shortie blonde? Why are we running?" I asked. He just giggled. "Ne, Takashi-sempai? Why are we running?"

"Protecting you," he grunted. Protecting me from what? I looked back to see…oh my gosh! What is that?

* * *

Pig-chan – Again, really sorry about the long wait! Tell me if I need to fix anything, 'kay?


	4. Chapter 4

Love is a Funny Thing. NOT!

Chapter 4: The Author's Note and a Bonus

Pig-chan – It's been awhile, right? Yeah, so this is actually an author's note. Right now, I'm suffering from a little ol' writer's block. Yup, and now that I'm outta ideas, production of this fic will have to cease for a bit (going on hiatus). Don't worry, there's a small bonus at the end of this note. Hopefully, I'll recover…eh heh. *sweat drop*

* * *

Sashimi was sitting at the dinner table. As usual, her parents were absent, the vacant seats staring back at her. She whimpered.

"I'm…alone," she sobbed. She bit her lip, willing herself not to cry.

"Everything's all right," a voice said. Warmth surged from her shoulder. She glanced up, tears streaking down her face. A boy three years her senior stood behind her chair. His messy gold hair flared from his head, the typical bed-head hairstyle.

"R-Ray-kun," she hiccupped. He smiled.

"Let's eat, shall we?" he asked. He grinned slyly. "My lady." Sashimi's face brightened up.

"Yeah!" she cheered.

* * *

"How romantic~!" Kirimi shouted. She spun around her bedroom. Sashimi was sitting on her bed, a sweat drop quickly forming. "You'll look beautiful on your wedding day with Ray-sama! I call dibs on wedding planner!"

"I'm only six! And besides, I haven't seen Ray-kun for awhile now," Sashimi trailed off. "I like someone else now. I'm a big girl."

"And you'll kiss, just like in those beautiful shoujo mangas!" Kirimi shrilled, completely ignoring Sashimi. A stress mark appeared on her head, a blush spreading across her cheeks.

"Please. Shut. UP!"


End file.
